I haven't written in awhile on here - partly because I've been busy and partly because, given the content of my last post, I've been mulling/contemplating/marinating on a few things to say the least. One thing I've been really soul searching on is the idea of my purpose here. I believe that we're all 'wired' to have certain characteristics and gifts that we can use to do great things - so what's mine?? Still not sure some days. Sometimes I feel like I have a way with sensing someones mood which may/may not help me be compassionate towards others who are going through struggles. If I sense you're hurting, I want to help; if you're angry, I want to make you laugh so the anger subsides; if you have a problem, I want to help brainstorm a solution.
Maybe I'm too much of a people pleaser at times. . . . but maybe that's what I'm called here to do?? Of course there is the exception of pleasing/accepting things that are unjust, etc. because even helping others too extremely can lead to such problems as enabling someones bad habits, etc. That I am not so cool with! But I surely can be cool with being a chameleon of a servant - helping differently for whatever the situation calls for. ;)
One action I've been compelled to take is to find something where I can help on a larger scale then just what my family tries to do for our church. I honestly believe that we don't help out in our church and community enough! There are travesties all over the world and the most I do is watch the story on the news, comment how awful it is, and then go about my merry little life. That sucks and is totally selfish of me!
One of the pastors at our church, Riverview (www.rivchurch.com), mentioned another pastor in Simi Valley, CA by the name of Francis Chan. I looked him up and came across his blog and this one post he displayed back in 2008 had me in tears. Check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mph01rgrwTY&feature=player_embedded
The excerpt under his youtube post said, "why is my life more valuable than this baby's? Someone asked me recently why I don't save money for emergencies, or retirement. My answer was how can I justify saving for myself "just in case" something happens to me when something IS happening to so many already. 29,000 kids will die today of preventable causes. If I'm to love my neighbor AS myself, why spend so much time worrying about me?"
Maybe it's time for me to live my life 'outside of the box' and put myself out there to do things that I normally hold myself back from out of guilt, fear, and selfishness! I have been blessed with so much and I believe that it's time for me to start putting my faith into action.
I just continue to pray that God gives me the strength and courage to do so!
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4 years ago
What a great thought. I think it takes so much personal integrity to go against the grain and do what you feel called to do. I say go for it. It's always interesting to see where you'll end up :)
ReplyDeleteTrue, and you are one that lives this in my opinion, Tashmica! You're a wife, mom (and daughter/sibling), business owner on top everything else you do with Darfur. . . . how do you ever balance it all??
ReplyDeleteFor me, I think taking that first step into 'something' will be the most difficult. Once I've taken that leap - it's all smooth sailing from there. :)