I'm SuperMom - I can do it all. . . . . just NOT today :-P

Ok, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret . . . I'm not perfect! YES, a travesty to all to admit such defeat, I know. I try many days to put on and maintain that 'I've-got-it-all-together' air but I can only withhold that mirage for so long before I begin to melt. Someone has to be truthful so here's my chance.

It has certainly been a hard juggling act going from SAHM (stay-at-home-mom for those not familiar with the acronym) to now working mom, and I don't even work FT! Besides, I've never been a real fan of actual juggling let alone life juggling. How do you FT working women do it!? Seriously - any and all tips are welcome! Though I've gotten the routine down a bit better now, there are still tough days and I believe this was one of them. Someone is missing something somewhere in my sphere of daytime/nighttime endeavors. For the most part, I can truck along and keep up the pace like a champ - a true SuperMom on her A-game. But when I come off the high of riding over the mountain peaks to the valleys of struggling with being overwhelmed, my whole outlook on things change. Should I do the dishes right at this moment or in 10 minutes from now? Can the floors go one more day without being vacuumed lest I find vegetation growing behind the couch? Do I need to get to work 15 min. earlier than yesterday, or stay 15 min. later? Add to that the never ending piles of laundry regurgitating from the hampers, constant 'Mom!?!?' chants from my little ones and endless days of breakfast/lunch/dinner routines!! Whew! Makes me tired just typing it all! :-0

Those mundane questions/concerns of routine begin to turn into more deep issues such as. . . Did I spend enough time with Caleb doing his homework? Will I be able to work in any 'girl' time with Seneca throughout the day? Did I take the time needed to refresh my relationship with my husband? Should I have given one more hug/kiss good night? My family are the ones that should matter most to me throughout my day, but again - I'm not perfect and I lose sight of that goal. Though there are winners amidst my day, someone has to lose out on something - i.e. my time, my patience and worst of all. . . my love. <3 It's not so easy to love when frustration, tension and crying kids come to greet you as the day is supposed to be winding to a close.

I've been on both sides of the fence - being that of Working Mom and SAHM. However, I believe that being stuck somewhere in between like I am now is more of a struggle. I'm not a FT worker and some days I don't feel like a FT Mom. . . I'm not a FT ANYTHING!! And I'm constantly pulled in so many directions and expected to be so many 'things' to so many people. It's exhausting and sort of like being in a triangular struggle between work, home and Ashley (but who has time for 'me' time anyways, right?!) and here I float somewhere in the middle of the vortex hoping someone will pull me back to sanity. :-P

I will end my ramblings with this quote from the Bible:
"A wise woman builds her house; a foolish woman tears hers down with her own hands" - Proverbs 14:1
I will try to make sure my daily goal is to build and no longer continue to tear down!

Thanks for listening :)