Saturday, July 3, 2010

Running on Empty

I was thinking about how true this title was for my life the other day. As I’m pulling out of the driveway, I noticed the gas gauge which showed “62 miles to E”. Awesome! Low gas and no gas money until Thursday. . . . um, it was only Tuesday. Ok, no biggie - I didn’t have much else to do until Thurs. so I’m sure I’d be fine. Besides, now that we’re really trying this whole ‘budget thing' I’m becoming quite skilled at running the car just a little bit longer before I fill up. I know how much I can go before it’s a vital necessity to refill the tank. I could surely make it to town a couple more times on that 62 miles. BUT needless to say, after a long day at home, a clingy sick toddler, cupboards and fridge becoming slightly barren and an almost empty tank of gas in my car, I was ready to be relieved of my ‘duties’ for the day.

But God had a different plan in store. We ended up having to leave our dinner untouched in order to rush Lukas to the hospital that evening after his fever shot up and he became slightly disorientated. We got scared and immediately loaded the brood into the car heading to the nearest ER. Could this really be happening right now???

My first reaction was to ask God, “Really God!? Do you think I can honestly handle this right now?” I was drained and now my emotions were totally frazzled!! But instead of continuing to ask God - ‘Why?’, I knew I needed to shift my focus to get through this. I instead began asking God to give me strength and to keep my tank going just a little bit longer; sustain me through the trials. In the book of Matthew, it states, “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world” (Matt 16:33).

To make a long story short, Jesus did just that! He restored peace to me and the family as Lukas was able to go home shortly that evening with his fever reduced and food eventually in our bellies. It taught me that sometimes my comfort level is what makes me feel like I’m running on ‘E’. But God knows my heart and my ‘tank’ far better than I. He knows that when I’m at “62 miles to E” emotionally, I can hang on just a little bit longer. I just need to have faith and trust in Him. Then I’ll get through the trials with Him to praise & thank along the way. It’s not always easy, but we aren’t to take comfort in ourselves and what we ‘think’ we can handle, but in Christ Jesus who overcame the world and knows exactly what we truly can handle!!