Ready to leave Victim-ville. . . . . or do you plan to set up permanent residence there??

I recently started reading a book titled, "Bad Childhood, Good Life" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. It's not the first book about dealing with childhood baggage that I've read but it still had me thinking of things in a different perspective. It's easy to point the finger at someone and blame them for how things have turned out in my life - trust me, I've done it many times! But it takes real maturity to realize my own doing in it all. . . YES, sometimes I AM at fault too. ;)

Let me elaborate by saying that growing up was not always easy. It's not something I readily share but to put it in a nutshell, both of my parents struggled with different addictions for many years while I was growing up. Though they are clean/sober (have been for many years), I've found in many instances of adulthood that my past, and my attitude towards it, has thwarted me in many situations - due to hurt, fear, anger, etc. I've done a lot of reading, soul searching and praying to get to a better place over the years.

But one thing that hit me in the book was when Dr. Laura describes our parents not as flawless individuals on pedestals; more so as adults with an 'inner hurt child' inside of them as well. I began to see them as 'human' per se, vs. this huge entity of 'parent' looming over me. They had hurts from their past as well and struggle with anger, fear, rejection, insecurity, feeling distant and/or not good enough. I'm beginning to look at them for who they really are and not what I've always wanted them to be. They may have botched things at times, and still do - lol! - but NO PARENT IS PERFECT! Sometimes it takes growing up and being a parent yourself to realize that. And there is a lot that they do get RIGHT! <3

Above the mistakes, and even through the times of joy, the one blessing my parents gave me was planting the seed of GOD in my heart! We went to church briefly when I was little and then stopped for years. But all of that changed when my mom suffered a brain aneurysm and almost died. She went through numerous surgeries and became a survivor! It was during that time that my dad prayed with me for the first time as I lay in bed - we prayed that mom would get better. Once my mom got over the surgeries and realized that the scars on her head resembled a 'J' and an 'M' (what we said was Jesus' Miracle), things changed. . . . not instantly, but they did change nonetheless.

So where do I fit in this equation and what about 'Victim-ville'?? Simple! I have two choices in life: 1) To continue to be angry from the past and take it out on everyone around me as I sit and marinate in 'Victim-ville' OR 2) I can move out of 'Victim-ville' into 'Reality-Land' where I realize that we are all flawed and regardless, there's something to be thankful for everyday!! GOD truly does have a purpose for us, whether we acknowledge it or not.

Whatever happened in the past is done now, PERIOD! I do have a right to be angry at things but I cannot spend my whole life angry and I realize that what happened in the past wasn't my fault. But the way I live my life now IS my fault. I have a lot of negative emotions that, when freed up, can be used for a better purpose and it's my choice to use them accordingly to help vs. hindering myself and to bless those around me.

My parents are good people and I love them with all my heart!!
And I've come to realize that it's time to leave 'Victim-ville' ;)