On with Plan B

Well, it's been awhile since my last post but I do have good reason. . . especially since it's taken me a total of 3 days just to write, edit, and post this, LOL! My daughter was born on May 9th

and though I had set out for an all natural birth, it didn't quite go as expected. Obviously, even having to go to the hospital for an induction takes away from the 'natural' nature of birth. But I was as minimal as possible with just an oral med. to start the process but not much happened for hours. Then breaking my water. . . . again, not much! This went on for almost 30 hrs. and I was stuck at 3-4 dilation. :( So we went with Plan B and I broke down deciding that Pitocin was the best option at this point. After those wonderfully feeling contractions *insert sarcasm* for an hour, I had an epidural. Then lo' and behold, my baby girl was born not long after! Guess my body responded better to the intervention - *shrug*

But even in that process I learned some new things. For starters, our nurse had a cute quote. She asked if I knew how to make God laugh? She paused and when I said, "No" she continued with the answer of, "Have a plan". And it seemed to resonate with me because I thought I had every aspect of this pregnancy figured out, planned out and was on my way. It took more faith and trust for me to go forward with something outside of my 'plan' than it did to even conjure up my plan. Guess God had that lesson for me all along! When I think I have it figured out, He lets me know that I should move over a bit because He is the one that's driving. I can just sit in the passenger seat and enjoy the ride. :)

Also, after looking at my beautiful baby's face and pondering the direction of my life, my faith, my current situation with NFoo - I've decided that I want my blog to likewise gravitate in a different direction. From a couple of comments my brother has shared about NM - such as her refusing to come to his son's bday if I am there and her/EF no longer attending church because it's the same one I go to - it's textbook narc behavior which proves that she is content in her wicked, hurtful & unrepentant ways. Because of this, I don't want to dwell on her or a subject related to her. there are so many more positive & uplifting things in my life. I do myself a disservice by focusing on the past since going no-contact means there isn't much heartache going on presently because I don't deal with NFoo.

By not having contact with NFoo, my hubby and I have allowed ourselves to open our life up to a myriad of friends/church 'family' members that have offered such positive influences to us and our family. It is immeaurable how they have touched our lives. We never would have had this opportunity had we solely been stuck in NM/EF's web of influence which sheltered/isolated us from others due to their judgement/influence on our lives. I'm sad it has come to this with my family but ever thankful for the things God has shown me of other people in our lives.

It's true that when one door closes, several more can open and it's that hope that I'm clinging to and looking forward to along with working on forgiveness.