Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Sticks and stones
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me!" . . . .
That famous old adage from childhood. *Sigh* If only I knew then what I know now. Words do hurt and it's in those words that so many of us hide. Hide from being shamed. Hide from feeling 'less than'. Hide from being a disappointment. Hide from low self-esteem. Hide from hurt, anger, resentment, sadness. But in reflection I realize that those words belonged to someone else. Those feelings weren't mine. They were the negative thoughts born out of someone else's dysfunction, spoken from their lips and thrust into my heart to make me become less so they can become, in their eyes, more. I have been sacrificed for the benefit of someone else. . . . my welfare a total unconcern. Those meant to help were only in place to harm. Because I wasn't with them, I am automatically deemed 'against them'.
It wasn't until I realized my own self-worth, separate from those words, that I could rise above the labels & demands put on me. I no longer had to play that 'role'. I used to feel bad for myself, sorry for what I endured while blindly believing they would change. But I don't as much anymore. Now I feel bad for them. Sad that those negative words in their own heart are all that their life will amount to. Pitiful. On a mission searching endlessly for someone else to 'dump' their thoughts on . . . . those negative,toxic words that truly describe the wickedness in their own core.