Aye! So it's been quite an adjustment to baby #4 and I'm not going to lie - my patience, self-control and even my sanity have been tested to the brink. How do some mom's do it that have multiple children? Now don't get me wrong, I am quite the multitasker. For example: I could nurse baby, talk on the phone, cook dinner and even answer the inadvertent questions of my other kids as they came along to interrupt while shooing the dog w/my foot to get out and quit begging in the kitchen. But running on that mode of stress only lasts so long before I'm yelling, "Calgon, take me away" . . . . if any of you remember those commercials, lol! There's got to be something better than this. . . . .
But the seriousness of this post is that despite all of my chaos, I've found it even harder to concentrate on God and staying focused. I just got done reading Francis Chan's book, 'Erasing Hell' and it did strike a chord with me but I'm ashamed to say that on so many levels, my life seems so 'full' that I don't think it has all yet sunk in - the depth of my depravity, the eternal and my fate amidst it all. I know of these things but it feels like something has been blocking my heart lately. I've dived into the Bible again searching for refuge, for a Father beyond my own father's shortfalls, reaching to the One to quiet the storm within my own thoughts. It can't be because of my undervaluing who God really is, is it??? All that mixed in with a little of my own negative sense of self/worth??? Hmmm. . . .
I've heard in one sermon the preacher saying that how we view God the Father in a similar fashion that we view our own father. Well, let's just say if that is the case it doesn't leave God and I in a very good situation to say the least, which is probably why subconsciously I'm already expecting to be rejected when it's my time to be judged. Pretty disheartening, huh?! Yup, that's what I've been muddling over and trying to find/cling to the truth that God is nothing like that at all. Judgement doesn't have to = rejection like it does here on earth with those we love and thought loved us too. I do believe it logically but it's just not absorbing in my heart spirtually. Anyone else had this view???
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4 years ago
Bashworld, your post caught my attention. Been there, felt that, and said that and I only have one Child. You are a very wise woman to know that this is not only a physical, psychological, cognitive, or emotional battle, but a Spiritual One. It is not a Mind over Matter Situation. I use to believe I could think my way through, but that only takes us so far.
ReplyDeleteI have heard the same thing about how we see GOD is based on how we see our own Parents. This does not do well for me either, because I have two Psycho Parents. GOD is our Holy Parent (a Loving Mother & Father because Man and Woman were created in GOD's image). So how can we relate to GOD when our own Parents are pathological & evil and much more like the devil than Christ?
Remember Jesus said that GOD loves us even more than we love our own Children. When you find ourself in awe of your Children, when you are filled with Love for them and are so very Proud of them and treasure them not for what they do for you, but simply who they are as Individuals, they are your Beautiful Little Children. Take that in & enjoy it. And while you are Amazed at your Little Children realize, accept, and know that GOD feels that same way about you BashWorld, even MORE if you can imagine that! You are GOD's Beautiful Daughter & GOD is proud of you and all you have endured and your ability to Love in spite of the harm that was done to you by your BioParents.
The enemy knows how Amazing you are, because Satan only attacks those who are a threat and worth attacking. It is because of who you are and Whose Child you are that the Spiritual Attacks come when we are at our weakest, because he would be no match for us when we are fully rested and not stressed out. He is a cowardly lion/beast for sure!
If it is hard to relate or refer to GOD as Father or Mother then refer to GOD as a Loving Parent and relate to GOD as one Loving Parent to another. I know GOD as a Loving & Holy Parent not judgmental, not condemning, but compassionate, understanding, inspiring, encouraging, and empowering. When I feel like I just don't meassure up I ask myself, What if my own Daughter felt this way that she didn't measure up? That would break my Heart and that breaks our Holy Parent's Heart to hear us feel Lesser Than. When my Daughter has a Bad Dad I just want to scoop her up in my arms and Love her and I imagine our Holy Parent wanting to do the same for us. We are GOD's Child and GOD loves us just for being us. Love and Peace to you.
Love,
Letting Go
Well, I am a mom of 6 kids that were close enough together that I had 5 teenagers at the same time. My relationship with God had a rocky start since the pedophile in my life was a "church going" type. I had heard that theory about the relationship with God the Father being similar to our father and like you said there can be a lot to be desired. Later I heard someone suggest that we take the best qualities of every man we know and make a composite kind of person. Very different view.
ReplyDeleteWhen raising kids the day to day running of the house to feed care for and spend quality time with them and DH proved overwhelming. The scripture that helped me was in Matthew 25:40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.
Well, my kids are not some of the least but I considered that what I did for my kids and family at home was the closest thing I could do to serving my Savior. In the midst of the turmoil it is hard to see this. I am now a grandmother of 5 grandchildren. I watch as my children choose to do some of the same things I did to serve their families. Listening to their love and laughter is awesome. Keep in mind that postpartum depression also plays into the next six months or more. I didn't have the symptom of crying but I sure struggled with increased depression after the birth of each child. I will keep you in my prayers.
Ruth
Wow ladies - God heard my heartache and he surely spoke to me through your kind, loving words! Thank you so much. <3
ReplyDeleteI'm also reading a book called "Christian Atheist" by Craig Groeschel. I paused reading that book to finish Francis Chan's book (I LOVE to read, lol!). When I picked up "Christian Atheist" to read in the car yesterday out of the blue, the section I left off on was about God's love for us (definitely not a coincidence!). How he loves us despite our sin, failings, etc. because HE IS LOVE! There's nothing I can do to make him love me more or less. His love is perfectly ENOUGH! :) So many responses coming to me when I need it most. God is good!!
I really like the analogy of comparing God to a loving parent based on the love I have for my own kids vs. how I was loved as a child. That really helps me see it differently.
BashWorld I am happy to hear that my words brought comfort to you. I use to dread Mother's & Father's Day, then I became a Momma and now I enjoy Mother's Day because the Day is now about a Loving Mom and not the Momster, and Father's Day is about a Loving Dad (my DH) and not the Demon Dad. Your Love for your Children is Beautiful and that is to be celebrated and GOD's Love for us is even stronger which is so AMAZING!
ReplyDeleteThank you for mentioning Christian Atheist. I am watching one of the videos right now. It reminds me of what I refer to as the Counterfeit Christian, those who calm to know Christ yet abuse others. People can' t truly have a Personal Relationship with Jesus and abuse others & enjoy hurting others.
I would like to recommend a book we are selling at our WOW BookClub which is Warrior Women Arise. It is a Unique look at how GOD sees His Daughters. It has the WOW Factor which is to Inspire, Encourage, and Empower. It will bless you. Here is our FaceBook link,
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002169833342
The profit from the books is going to our Outreach Program called Giving Dreams Wings that supports the healing process for abused Women & Children in Shelters, and Children in Group Homes.
Warrior Women Arise is one of the best books I have ever read.